PROOF THAT GOD IS STUPID

I had to put up a strong headline to get my fans back!! Now always it is good to look to the other side... I have decided to plagiarise a plagiarism of proofs of God's existence; most of these I have heard from friends and pastors and the like; ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN, a.k.a. GOD OF THE GAPS, a.k.a. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I) (1) Check out the world/universe/giraffe. Isn’t it complex? (2) Only God could have made them so complex. (3) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM BEAUTY, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II) (1) Isn’t that baby/sunset/flower/tree beautiful? (2) Only God could have made them so beautiful. (3) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES (I) (1) My aunt had cancer. (2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments. (3) My aunt prayed to God and now she doesn’t have cancer. (4) Therefore, God exists. MORAL ARGUMENT (II) (1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard. (2) That all changed once I became religious. (3) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE (1) Look, there’s really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it’s too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not. (2) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE (1) Okay, I don’t pretend to be as intelligent as you guys — you’re obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you’ll just ask him into your life. “For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth.” John 3:16. (2) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL (1) God loves you. (2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him? (3) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM (1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich. (2) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY (1) Pots don’t go around giving orders to the potter. (2) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS (1) Christians say that Jesus is their best friend. (2) I’m lonely, and I want a best friend. (3) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION (1) God is: (a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby. (b) The love of a mother for her child. (c) That little still voice in your heart. (d) Humankind’s potential to overcome their difficulties. (e) How I feel when I look at a sunset. (f) The taste of ice cream on a hot day. (2) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM MUSIC / ART (1) You like classical music. (2) Classical composers wrote for God. (3) [Non-believer points out that they had to compose for the Church or they would have been executed.] (4) But they wrote for God and you like the music. (5) Therefore, God Exists. ARGUMENT FROM FREE WILL (II) (1) If God gave us evidence of His existence, we wouldn’t have free will to believe in Him. (2) That would be bad, and we would lose the need for faith. (3) Therefore, God exists. DERRYK’S ARGUMENT FROM GOOD TIMES (1) Times are good. (2) God must be rewarding me. (3) Therefore, God exists. DERRYK’S ARGUMENT FROM BAD TIMES (1) Times are bad. (2) God must be testing me. (3) Therefore, God exists.